


The Story of How Underscore Joined the SBI

by justpressX



Series: Sneaky Bois Inc., the mafia au that no one asked for [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Author has failed at tension and pacing, Background Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy, Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot are siblings, Floris | Fundy is Wilbur Soot's godson, Gen, M/M, Mafia AU, Mentioned Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Floris | Fundy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28085868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justpressX/pseuds/justpressX
Summary: He was scared, just like Wilbur. And with good reason; they were meeting Schlatt, the second most dangerous mob boss around, and Techno was out 'assassinating' Dream. Not actually of course, since their tech support would flip the fuck out if his fiance was actually killed.But to keep the act up – and to ensure no one else went after Dream – Techno couldn't join them when Schlatt suddenly demanded a meeting.Wilbur knew Schlatt well enough to know those were related, knowing that he would take the chance to catch them without their best fighter. He laughed at that; if Schlatt thought Techno was the only one who could beat him, he was sorely mistaken. Knowing that Phil was also meeting Schlatt, Wilbur felt pretty optimistic about their chances.Or:(My sister and) I called Tubbo Underscore and do NOT regret it one bit.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Floris | Fundy, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Series: Sneaky Bois Inc., the mafia au that no one asked for [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2078781
Comments: 5
Kudos: 199
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	1. The Main Story

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cherryparadise](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryparadise/gifts).



> dedicated to my sister, who helped me plan this

When the other two people walked in, Wilbur only recognised the older one. Beside him, Tommy stiffened almost imperceptibly, face brightening then falling in an instant. He whispered something under his breath, but the words died as he spoke them. Wilbur placed a hand on his shoulder; he didn't understand, but Tommy was clearly affected by something.

"Philza." The man in a suit – overdressed, in Wilbur's opinion – said, attention wholly on the leader. Phil met his gaze steadily, stepping in front of Tommy slightly. He was scared, just like Wilbur. And with good reason; they were meeting Schlatt, the second most dangerous mob boss around, and Techno was out 'assassinating' Dream. Not actually of course, since their tech support would flip the fuck out if his fiance was actually killed.

But to keep the act up – and to ensure no one else went after Dream – Techno couldn't join them when Schlatt suddenly demanded a meeting.

Wilbur knew Schlatt well enough to know those were related, knowing that he would take the chance to catch them without their best fighter. He laughed at that; if Schlatt thought Techno was the only one who could beat him, he was sorely mistaken. Knowing that Phil was also meeting Schlatt, Wilbur felt pretty optimistic about their chances.

Everyone knew Philza and the SBI, a chaos-wrecking gang that was just there for fun and definitely did not deserve their bad reputation. Ignore the fact that they were responsible for – what was it now? – three 'wars' and owed millions of dollars in property damage.

Wilbur was just grateful their death count hadn't reached two million yet. Techno probably wished he could have killed more orphans. And Wilbur had absolutely no clue what Tommy was thinking half the time.

For the leader of a gang with moral compasses pointed straight to hell, Phil was surprisingly kind – to his allies and friends, that was. He loved mischief almost as much as Wilbur and Tommy, and was just as skilled as Techno, though he didn't show it. Most importantly, he was excellent at keeping his cool and playing nice, or being boring, as Wilbur dubbed it.

"Hello, Schlatt. What brings us here?" Phil finally said, his face betraying nothing as he stuck his hand out. Schlatt shook it curtly, crossing his arms once more. Phil just smiled at him.

Ask anyone about Phil and they would say that he was deceptively sweet. Some used to say that he was dating a girl named Trixtin, but search for her online and nothing would turn up – like she didn't exist at all. Or maybe that everything had been wiped per a certain someone's orders. Phil would smile politely at those who inquired after her, and not a week later, they would be found dead. If they were even found, that was.

"So, I heard that you're going for Dream too." Schlatt cut straight to the point. "Let me tell you now, you better drop that."

Phil raised an eyebrow. "Well, you see, Schlatt, we got the job first, so you should be the one backing off." He said, sickly sweet.

"I understand if you can't afford it though," he continued, casting an appraising glance at their surroundings. "You really seem to need the bounty."

Wilbur held back a snicker at Schlatt's affronted expression. Did he mention that Phil could also be an asshole when he wanted to?

Schlatt took a moment to recover. "I'm going to ignore that," he replied smoothly. "But I’m telling you this: if you continue getting in my way, you'll regret it."

"Oh, what could you possibly do to me?" Phil laughed disbelievingly. Schlatt glared, then turned to face Wilbur. 

"Do it." He demanded, eyes glittering with glee. “Show them who’s the boss.”

Wilbur knew what Schlatt wanted him to do. The latter had approached him a few months ago in a café, all smiles and apparently a regular. Lies; Wilbur was one – his friend owned the shop, after all – and he’d never seen Schlatt there even once. Schlatt had then introduced himself as Jonathan, but Wilbur had known better. Perks of working as a spy, he supposed. However, Wilbur would never pass on an opportunity to gain some intel, so of course, he pretended to be the dumb brunet Schlatt assumed he was.

The fool thought he was only in the gang because he was related to Techno. Wilbur didn't know how Schlatt knew that, but that – along with his godson Fundy – definitely wasn't the reason why Wilbur was part of the SBI. He was there for, firstly, his acting skills, which helped in spy missions a lot, as well as a few hidden talents he had. Schlatt had no inkling of what Wilbur could do, which was a huge mistake on his part. 

Once they’d become ‘friends’, Wilbur continued meeting him regularly, even initiating meet-ups to distract Schlatt from covert missions and coax information from him. Schlatt, believing that he was of no threat, gave them freely.

And once Schlatt decided that Wilbur trusted him enough – which was a week later; Wilbur was experienced in that – he told him his plan. It wasn't a really good one; Wilbur was to accompany Phil and Tommy to meet Schlatt, then hold Tommy hostage as leverage. As for what Schlatt needed leverage for, he hadn't known.

But Schlatt was very wrong to think Wilbur, of all people, would betray the SBI. They were his family! In more ways than metaphorically, in Techno's case. Phil was and had always been informed about everything, and he decided that Wilbur should go along with the plan. After some (a lot) of cajoling, Tommy agreed as well.

So when Schlatt gave him the signal, Wilbur pulled out a knife and dragged Tommy away, holding the blade to his neck. To his credit, Tommy froze in an extremely good act of surprise – wait, did Phil tell him the whole plan or was that surprise genuine? Phil reached for his blade as if to attack him, but had no weapons. None of them was supposed to, but Schlatt's right-hand man – who looked more like a boy than a man – had pretended not to notice the knife under Wilbur's shirt.

Tommy struggled, jabbing his elbow into Wilbur's side – Wilbur felt a flash of pride on having taught him that – and jerking away from the knife. Wilbur pressed the knife tighter, hissing sharply, "Stop fucking struggling, or I'll slit your damn throat."

"Ow! You are a bitch, Wilbur, a bitch!" Tommy stopped twisting around, instead grabbing Wilbur's wrist to push the knife away with alarm. "I'm fucking bleeding!" True enough, a line of blood wrapped around the left of his throat as Wilbur lifted the blade away. Shit, he hadn't meant to hurt him.

Pushing away his concern, he dragged Tommy to Schlatt's side, this time taking care to not cut him. The boy kicked and struggled the whole time, screaming loudly. Schlatt's right-hand man watched in fear, looking so much younger in an instant. Wilbur felt a pang of sympathy as he caught a glimpse of his utterly terrified face. That kid shouldn't- didn't deserve to be here.

Phil glared at Wilbur, fists clenched. "Let him go. Now." His words were short and clipped. Wilbur looked away in guilt, biting his lip. He still held onto Tommy tightly, his grip on the knife a bit too hard.

"Let me go!" Tommy echoed, beginning to kick and struggle again. Wilbur winced as his elbow struck his jaw. That was sure to leave a bruise.

Schlatt laughed, the sound menacing and lacking any amusement whatsoever. "Tell me, Philza. Who did you send after Dream, hmm?" Tommy continued to yell in the background, voice cracking a little. Wilbur shushed him impatiently.

"The Blade, of course." Despite everything, Phil's voice was full of pride. "So you may as well give up."

"Call him off."

"Sorry, no can do!" Phil grinned cheerily, overcompensating for his worry with borderline hysterical joy. Even Schlatt looked concerned.

"Call him off, or the child gets it."

"Oi!" Tommy interrupted, annoyed. He stopped kicking momentarily. "I'm not a child, you bitch!"

He shut up quickly as Wilbur held the knife against his throat again, swallowing nervously. "Phil," he begged, giving his leader a wide-eyed stare.

Phil closed his eyes briefly. "I cannot; he's literally already there." He lied easily, looking away. Schlatt sighed.

"Now, let's not lie, shall we?" He took a step closer to Phil. "I'm not falling for those tricks." He stared straight into Phil's eyes with a smug smile.

"Just give up, Philza." He sneered, smugness oozing from his words. "Admit it, I have the upper hand here." Releasing Tommy slowly, Wilbur backed off carefully, motioning for Tommy to be quiet. Impressively, the teenager followed, staying silent as Schlatt focused solely on Phil, not noticing a thing.

In that sense, they were lucky that Techno wasn't with them, Wilbur realised. If his brother had been there, Schlatt wouldn't have let his guard down that much.

Schlatt's right-hand man looked between Tommy and Wilbur in surprise as Tommy stepped away slowly, fingers going to the stinging cut on his neck. Wilbur still owed him an apology for that.

Beckoning the other boy over, Wilbur offered him a reassuring smile. Naively, he fell for it, shuffling over obediently. In a flash, Wilbur's hand was clamped over his mouth, muffling his cries as he held the knife to the boy's throat. Schlatt didn't even turn his head, unaware of the hostage swap.

Free from Wilbur, Tommy took the opportunity to rest, slumping against the wall with a hand still touching his wound. Blood stained his collar and fingertips, but, giving him a once-over, Wilbur was sure Tommy would be fine.

"Schlatt, listen to me." Phil was doing a great job at stealing Schlatt's attention. "There is no way in hell you would ever be on my level. The reason? Simple. You don't have anyone to trust. That's why you lost the very moment you called me here. That's why you will never succeed, and why you'll never, ever be a proper gang leader. You don't have friends."

"Tough words from someone whose gang member just betrayed them," Schlatt shot back, though he looked shaken. Good. Everything Phil had said was true; Schlatt had been doomed from the start.

"You think _he_ would betray me?" Phil laughed, leaning back against the wall. "Go ahead, give the order."

"Wilbur!" Oh right, Schlatt knew his name. Either way, he wasn't going to listen to him anymore.

"Schlatt, you idiot." Wilbur deadpanned, making the man look up.

"Hey! You- How dare you!" He shouted upon realising that his right-hand man was the one being threatened.

"How dare I? Oh my, how dare I stay loyal to my family? How dare I not listen to you? You're right, I'm the one in the wrong," Wilbur said sarcastically, angling his knife under the boy's jaw and tilting it up. "How does it feel to realise that most of us don't instantly betray our friends at any opportunity?"

"You let Underscore go. Now." Schlatt finally seemed at least a little scared, but masked it under rage and fury.

"Underscore? Wow, did you choose that name for him? Frankly – sorry kid – it's the worst name I've ever heard- my bad, that's Schlatt- the second worst name I've ever heard."

Schlatt ground his teeth in anger. "Fine. Have him if you want. But you better watch out-"

"'You better not cry, you better watch out, I'm telling you why'? Why, I didn't know you were such a fan of Christmas! Too bad you're on the naughty list," Wilbur mocked, releasing the boy swiftly. The boy avoided his eyes, backing away slightly.

"What's your name?" he asked, pointedly turning his back on Schlatt and grabbing the boy’s hand.

"Tubbo," The boy replied in a small voice, tugging his hand away weakly. “Are you going to kill me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is just additional stuff I didn't get to write into the story + a deleted scene that I found funny. Thanks for reading!


	2. Extras and Deleted Scene

**Deleted Scene:**

"So, tell me, who is The Blade?" Schlatt asked, eyes flashing. 

Phil gave him an innocent look. "What? I would think that out of all of us, you would have heard of The Blade."

"You idiot, of course I have heard of The Blade! I'm asking who he is!" Schlatt was naturally impatient, a fact that Wilbur had learnt pretty quickly. Usually it was mildly annoying at best, and made it infuriatingly difficult to talk to him at worst. Right now, it was just hilariously entertaining. 

"Oh, he's our best fighter, as I thought you would have known," Phil continued to play dumb. Wilbur could almost see smoke coming out of Schlatt's ears. He struggled to contain his laughter.

"I know that! He's that guy that can fight with everything, including steaks and-"

"You mean stakes?" Phil tilted his head to the side, as if he hadn't known of the Great Steak Incident, as Wilbur had christened it, the second it occurred. (Quite literally; Techno had video called them, effectively halting Wilbur's plans to hijack a plane over.) 

"I said what I said!" Schlatt practically screamed. "This isn't funny!"

Phil snickered softly behind his hand. "I disagree."

"Just tell me The Blade's real identity!"

Phil burst into laughter. "You think I know?" He replied, rendering the entire conversation pointless. Schlatt ground his teeth together, huffing angrily. If he could – and he couldn't – he would have killed Phil right there and then 

**Additional Stuff:**

\- Sapnap and George separately placed a bounty on Dream's head; Sapnap went to Schlatt and George went to the SBI  
\- They wanted Dream dead because by dating Fundy, he broke George's heart or something like that  
\- Sapnap's a rich kid so he offered more (which Schlatt used to bribe Wilbur)  
\- The SBI was named by Wilbur because he wanted to piss off the FBI   
\- My sister suggested that SBI stood for 'Sneaky Bois Inc' and I wholeheartedly agree 


End file.
